Five Lessons Learned from a Life in Drum Corps

As I reflect back on my many years in drum corps, I learned that...

1) As bad as things seem right now, the sun will still rise tomorrow. 

Coming in 13th in prelims really sucks for an age out, especially when you're in a corps that was consistently placing between 7th and 10th in big shows. Doing a show to determine the "Associate" Champion right after missing finals by a few tenths of a point is really brutal, and knocking it out of the park with a show that would have placed 7th the next night isn't much of a consolation.

The reality however, really struck me the next morning when I woke up on the gym floor and saw the sun coming through the windows on the far wall. As bad as I felt the night before (it was devastating, like the world was coming to an end), life went on. The sun came up and time continued to move forward. Nothing that I was going to do or say was going to change the day before. I had a choice, I could either stew in it and be miserable, or just move on with my life. I chose the latter and am better for it to this day.

2) Don't isolate yourself from the rest of the corps by sleeping in a short dead-end hallway off the main gym floor is a bad idea when you're a snorer.

I had a tendency to separate myself from the corps from time to time. Whether it was when we were bedding down in a gym, or driving by myself to or from shows when I was in a senior corps. What I realized is that I didn't give myself the opportunity to get to really know others as well as I could have. Don't get me wrong I have some extraordinary friendships that remain to this day, but I have to wonder how much richer these relationships could have been.

As for sleeping in a hallway when you snore, lets just say that waking up with a sock stuffed in you're mouth is not the best way to start the day.

3) Nobody cares that you're sore, tired or hungry. They are too. Get over it! 

There's not a lot to say here. As tired and grumpy as you might be, telling everyone isn't going to get you any sympathy. Chances are pretty good that they're tired too. Whining doesn't make it any better and in-fact makes it worse. Forget that you ache, and celebrate what you’ve accomplished. Its much more rewarding.

4) Share your passion for drum corps (or whatever else lights you up) with everyone you meet. 

Don't be obnoxious, but let people know about the things that make a difference in your life. If you're passionate, they might take an interest and we gain a new fan. If they're not interested, no harm, no foul.

Years ago, I was researching Word of Mouth marketing for an article for DCI Today about sharing the drum corps experience. What struck me was how effective and cost effective this is to grow or reconnect the fan base. I'll dig through my archives and see if I can find it and post it here at Odd's and Ed's.

5) And finally. Don't finish a 1.5L bottle of gin with four friends the night before a show!

It leads to a bus ride totally unremembered, brutal calisthenics the next morning, a horrible headache during warm-ups and a two day hangover. (NOTE: I was over 21 and in a senior corps at the time.) I really don't think its necessary to elaborate, but if you'd like the full story, buy me a beer after a show next summer. (when I don't have to drive of course).

Two lessons from the summer...

My journey to a new career has been both enlightening and frustrating. In fact the latter has been a major contributor to the former. In other words, my frustration has led to discovery or in many cases to rediscover things about myself. Valuable experience, but at the moment it isn't paying the bills. So what have I learned that might one day pay the bills and make the world a better place. Two things immediately have become obvious to me.

1. Joy is at the core of our existence.
2. When you feel like crap or get frustrated, quickly find any way possible to get over it.

It goes without saying that people who are happy tend to be more productive in the long run. Are much easier to be with. And in general make the people around them feel better. Face it, its a lot of work to be sad when you're surrounded by happy people. The experience of joy makes the day less stressful, we sleep better and we physically feel better.

On the other hand feeling like crap or let things frustrate you (which quickly makes you feel like crap), can drain the life right out of you if you're not paying attention. Feeling bad serves no useful purpose, and in fact only feeds our personal self pity machine. Self pity gets old fast which often pushes others away. The loneliness helps reinforce our bad feelings and we slip into the quicksand, having pushed away the very people that could have helped pull us out of the muck.

I'd spent several days at home feeling sorry for myself. Even with my loving and caring wife Christina sitting next to me or only one room away, I felt isolated and alone. I was so lost that it was like having my life drained from my soul. An emotional Nosferatu. It was not productive and certainly not fulfilling. It had become in Christina's words, "A life, not worth living."

Those words sent a shock through my system and helped remind me of the Ghandi quote, "Be the change that you want to see in the world." As I have always believed that joy and fun can and will change the world, I only had two choices, stay and be miserable which obviously wasn't working, or be that change, to be joyful and fun.

It only took a second or two to make that shift and it was immediate. I won't say that it was easy as there were several days of muck to shake off. But like making a commitment to climbing out of quicksand, slowing things down, letting the people around me help and staying focused on my intention allowed me to break free.

Life is better for sure. I have more energy, less aches and generally sleep pretty well. From time to time I do step in a small puddle getting goo around my ankles, but its a lot easier when I feel it tug at me. I can quickly regain my footing by refocusing on the joy and fun and being that change that I want to see in the world.

In the end, life is perfect. It's not flawless but it is perfect.

Hummer photo credit - Tx4x4.com

Einstein was right, time is relative

Okay, so it's been more than three months since my last post. While that's not the end of the universe, the realization a few minutes ago was a wake up call. Time is slipping by way too fast.

Do you remember when you were a kid, it seemed like the days would last forever, and things we were looking forward to, like birthdays, special trips and summer vacation would never get here.

Somewhere along the line, things shifted. We seemed to get busier and busier and there was never enough time in the day to get things done. Suddenly, rather than always looking forward to things, we were usually looking back and saying what happened. Where did all of that time go? It still clicked by 1 second at a time, but our perception was that it had for the most part slipped past unnoticed. Einstein was right, time is indeed relative. Reflecting on the last few hours, I'm coming to believe that wonder and joy are in fact, two of the keys that help slow time.

Wonder lets us to look at things openly and in minute detail. This openness creates a feeling of control like nothing else on the planet. Is it possible to open to wonder and feel anything less than being in full control of our senses and in absolute awe at the universe around us. One of the byproducts of wonder is joy.

True joy gives the sensation that time is standing still. It is a state of mind that is so natural for most, that you never want to let go. This creates a problem for most of us.

While it's true that with age and maturity come responsibility, there is a perception that there is little if any room for joy and wonder among the responsible. As this mind set begins to take hold, our experience of time begins to shift from abundance and anticipation, to scarcity and loss. I know I've been there for the better part of the last 40 years. Not sure the precise moment that it happened, but I do know that it happened.

In the coming days, weeks, months and years, I am all about rediscovering wonder and unbridled joy. I am about creating a better world through joy and fun. Its the only way that I can truly make a difference in the world and to make this happen I need your help. If you ever see me being anything less than joyful or fun, you have my FULL permission to give me a swift kick in the bottom and call me on it. There's a catch, you also have to give me a shove in the right direction. That might be something as simple as asking what's up and then asking what's next.

I know this is a lot to ask as we all have really busy lives and responsibilities, but I truly believe that if we can help light each other up, if only for a moment, that time will indeed begin to slow down, become abundant and fulfilling without having to be irresponsible. It is how we were created and wouldn't the world be a lot more fun if we could be both joyful and responsible.

I'll provide an update on the summer with my next post along with a personal promise to being accountable for providing updates on a regular basis.

I welcome your comments and when needed a good swift kick in the pants.

I was sitting at lunch today...

I was sitting at lunch today looking over my draft of last night's post about joy and fun. It struck me that it might appear that I was thumping my chest saying look at what I’ve done. Know that this was never the intention of my post.

My hope was to provide something to consider if you might ever find yourself hanging out in the dark recesses of doubt and insecurity. With that in mind, let me elaborate on my personal discovery in that moment.

When I hit bottom yesterday, Christina gave me a loving nudge that reminded me of the people that surround me everyday. Extraordinary, loving people. I know I said that yesterday, but it’s worth repeating. Each of us are surrounded by them every day. They love us unconditionally.

There are some that we know. They’re obvious like the family, friends and co-workers that I mentioned yesterday. But there are many more than we might imagine. Your support structure could include people we’ve long since forgotten like teachers, old neighbors, classmates and distant family. People that we haven’t thought of in years. But they might just as easily be total strangers, like fire fighters, police officers and social workers. Many are seemingly unrelated, people you may never meet face to face. These are the ones that I want to talk about.

Yesterday at Disney’s California Adventure, I experience something that could have only been possible because of a group of caring, loving human beings. Disney produced Golden Dreams, a short film about the dreams that have and continue to make California great. The film was both calming and inspiring. So much so, that its closing song pushed me to a level of emotion that I rarely reach. It was an awe-inspiring moment.

I’ll be the first to admit that I often wear empathy on my sleeve, usually in the form of tears wiped aware when something truly moves or inspires me. It’s happened while watching television, a movie or a live show. It might have come during a sporting event or while reading a particularly poignant story. This experience yesterday however was one of the more intense moments and came at absolutely the right point to carry me the full 180º from earlier in the day. I found myself at the point of almost outright sobbing, the big loud stuff that you find at funerals. Like most people, I find it uncomfortable totally loosing it in the presence of total strangers in a darkened theater, fortunately I held on and when the end of the film came, I was able to regain my composure and exit the theater. I have to say though that while restrained, that release gave me the lift that I needed to complete the journey that Christina had started me on two hours earlier.

It would be an understatement to say that this moment in the theater would not have been possible without the caring, loving producers, writers, technicians and performers that created it. The emotions that I experienced could only emerge from the core of our existence and in this case it was triggered by a group of people that I’ve never met, but am now forever grateful to because their gift disguise as a theme park movie, made my day and I am now better as a result. The best part to all of this is that this same experience is there for anyone who enters that theater and watches this same film. For some this film might not be that big a deal, but for those that it does touch, move or inspire, it can be a huge lift. For those that it doesn’t connect with, not to worry, since there are plenty of other people out there ready and waiting to touch move and inspire them when they need it most.

And in the end, the world is a better place because of the support that we provide for each other.

I swung a full 180º and back today

It’s been a long day. I swung a full 180º and back today and am now both exhausted and exhilarated. It took a while to get rolling, but better late than never. The sun was shining and the peaks of the surrounding San Gabriel Mountains were clearly visible. It was a nice change of pace after four days of overcast skies and damp weather.

After an early lunch I began my journey to Anaheim to spend the day at Disneyland. As I pulled out of the McDonald’s parking lot, I decided to take a quick detour to a local CompUSA that was going out of business. Thought this would be a good opportunity to scout out the mic that I’d been planning to buy for my iPod, especially since it was likely to be on sale. And then the wheels began to come off of my cart.

I got a call that one of my projects was in trouble. After a series of phone calls we got it back on track, but I was really bothered that I’d not been more on top of things and had left room for an issue to pop up at all. Being bummed like this, I was ready to return to the hotel and crawl back into bed.

The timing couldn’t have been more perfect for a call from my wonderful wife Christina. Being aware of the situation, she was checking in on me. She encouraged me to go to Disneyland anyway and in the process, kicked me in the proverbial butt. What I realized while sitting in that CompUSA parking lot, feeling sorry for myself, was how supportive a group of family, friends and extraordinary co-workers I had surrounding me.

After my trip to Disney’s California Adventure that afternoon, I had come a full circle. I had gone from upbeat to the dumps and back to joyful and inspired. It was quite exhausting, but a very rewarding experience and a day worth sharing with all of you in my blog.

It reminded me that JOY and FUN live in how we're being, and not in the space or circumstances surrounding around us. While the environment might help us along, the real joy comes from deep inside of you and can exist at any time, in any situation and under any circumstance. When we realize that and let it happen unconditionally, the world is a better place.

I got it. Thanks to all, especially Christina for helping me to see that again.